2015 Ford Mustang Here Come the Dead Kids

mvw1970g December 9, 2013 0
2015 Ford Mustang Here Come the Dead Kids
  • Sexy
  • Price
  • Driven by poor old men and dumb teenagers
  • Whore magnet
  • Baby Killer

Every year, around the middle to end of June, there seems to be an uptick in the number of dead teens. The reason for this is plain and simple; dumb parents. These parents, you know, the dumb ones, buy their even dumber kids a car like the 2015 Ford Mustang. The future dead kid doesn’t realize how stupid he or she is and lets other stupid kids go for a ride with them. Instant mix of speed and stupidity that leads to death. A minimum of 2 families plus destroyed over a foolish purchase for a kid. Ford debuted the 2015 Mustang at events in Los Angeles, Shanghai, Barcelona, New York, Sydney, and Dearborn, Michigan. By my estimate the dead kids will go global.


The 2015 Ford Mustang is a sexy beast but definitely is not a Top 50 Whip. We are just giving it a mention cause those who can’t afford a Top 50 Whip will buy it. It debuted last week to a crowd of people who just sang its praises but all I could think of were all those dead kids. The 2015 Ford Mustang comes in a variety of flavors; a 5.0-liter V8 420HP version, a 2.3-liter EcoBoost 4cylinder 305HP, and a 3.7-liter V6 300HP version. Why does a 17/18-year-old kid need all that power? My answer is to kill other kids and other innocent drivers on the road. The answer of the parents is, “My kid is gonna be cooler than I ever was and get all the trim, crotch, ass, head, respect, cool points, and possible three-somes, and a chance with a teacher after school in a classroom, that I never had the chance to have as a new car driver at that age.” Why can’t it just be as simple as when I was growing up? You waited until you could afford a fast car and you drove a piece of sh*t that cost $1000 and you worked hard for the money and the sex from some whore who looked like her parents were brother and sister.


Ford has not released a price for this kiddy-killer yet, but I’m sure that all the wannabe cool kids and their folks can afford it just like they can afford Obamacare. The current Ford Mustang entry model runs a paltry $27,000USD. Ford plans on selling at least 2,500 of these stateside. By my count that’s about 7,500 dead people. Way to go Ford. Did I mention it comes in a convertible also? Well now, that just means that the mangled bodies wont be pressed against the windshield covered in blood and urine; those bodies will just fly out the car and paint the asphalt red with blood and whatever was for dinner.


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