#4 Hennessey Venom GT

mvw1970g September 1, 2013 0
#4 Hennessey Venom GT
  • Price
  • Handling
  • Top Speed
  • 0-60
  • Sexiness


Why is the virtually unknown Hennessey Venom GT so high on the list? Does it matter? To me and those who are in the know better it does. To those who are the lucky few who get to read this and finally be in the know, maybe it will matter now. The Hennessey Venom GT is the sh#t! Sex appeal, speed, and virtual obscurity are the perfect combination that puts this car in the Top 5. Imagine pulling up anywhere: the looks, the stares, the whispers, the kissing of your ass, but most of all THE PENIS MASSAGE!!! C’mon son! you know I’m right. This car will leave them thinking and talking. Now WAKE UP!!!! It’s not gonna happen for you because this automobile is for the select few that know how to handle it and can afford it. Oh yeah, more more small problem: Hennessey only makes about 10 a year. FAIL for you. In fact my research shows that Hennessey has only sold 6 of these Venom GTs. So point proven: not many can afford this baby.

The Car

I have a lil brother. His name is Larry. Now everyone in my circle knows I would do anything for this guy. But I have to draw the line somewhere. I don’t care how much guac I make, I would never get him the Hennessey Venom GT. He couldn’t handle the responsibility of all the hookers that would want to do him just for the opportunity to be ran over by this whip. It is said that this is the fastest “production car” in existence.
This car is basically a tricked-out Lotus, but when I say tricked-out I mean that Hennessey went all the way out with this one. It has a top speed of 278MPH. All this coming from an aluminum twin turbocharged 7.0L engine. The cars sports carbon fiber wheels and carbon fiber bodywork. Depending on how fast you are traveling, there is a carbon fiber wing that is deployed to make the car look even sexier. Just kidding. The wing is there to keep the car from taking flight when you’re whipping real hard in your imaginary scenario in which you own one of these. There are 2 versions of this car a 750HP and a 1,200HP version. There is no shame in owning the 750 HP version. Hey at least you tried. Right? I gotta be honest: this car is faster than the Bugatti Veyron, but then again, Android OS is better than Apple’s iOS but Apple beats Android hands down every time. Maybe it’s the marketing or the sheer sexiness of an iPhone, or maybe it’s the ignorance of the people. I don’t know and neither do I care. I own an iPhone. I’m also not a millionaire but if I was I’d have both cars and both phones. I love excess.


Prcing starts at $600,00USD for the 750hp version of the Hennessey Venom GT and $1,000,000USD for the 1,200hp version. But that doesn’t matter and you know why: YOU’RE NOT EVER GETTING ONE!!!!!

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